I am not an angry person. I am passionate, but not angry. However, my bipolar II disorder can sometimes make me snappy. When I get irritable as a result of a mixture of something trivial and my mood, I can be mean. Really mean.
Yesterday, something happened that wasn’t a big deal at all. I felt like people were talking behind my back, when in reality, they just had my best interest at heart and didn’t want to hurt me.
But I didn’t see it that way. If this had happened 2 years ago, I totally would have lashed out. I would have sent some nasty text messages and said things I didn’t mean. Then a few hours later, I’d break down crying and beg for forgiveness.
Something inside of me just wants to get that anger out, no matter who I hurt or how much I love them. I’m still a little snappy sometimes, but now that I’m on the right medications, I don’t feel the need to act on my impulses so dramatically.
So yesterday, while I did cry and get a little upset, I didn’t let the people who insulted me know how I felt. I knew deep down that it wasn’t a big deal and that I needed to pick my battles.
There are a few things I can recommend for people who also get irritable due to bipolar disorder.
First and foremost is always medication and therapy. Make sure you have it if you need it. But there are other steps you can take. Meditation and mindful thinking, even for 2 minutes out of the day, can be so calming. It’s crazy! I didn’t believe it until I tried it.
Acts of self care is another one. Do something you like. Go for a walk and listen to a podcast so you have something else to think about. Take a bath. Anything.
Lastly, I find that writing is super helpful. Journaling out all your mean thoughts where they can’t hurt anyone is so much better than taking your emotions out on your loved ones.
Disclaimer: By no means am I saying to be nice no matter what. This post is for the times where you don’t need to express anger but feel that you have to get it out. If someone does something to truly hurt you, think about what needs to be said, and say it. I can write another post on that.
I hope you’re all having a fantastic day, and thank you for reading my blog. It really means the world to me. Speaking of the world, there are people all over the globe reading! From everywhere from Hungary to the UK! I really appreciate each and every one of you.